Thursday, February 4, 2010

10 Things You Never Knew Until You Were Mom

10 Things You Never Knew Until You Were Mom

1. The existence of 4 am – Unless you were still drunk or up late cramming for an exam, this time never existed. Now it’s when your toddler starts crying because they have to go potty and when the baby wakes up because she just wanted to catch the sun rise with her mommy for the fourth morning in a row.
2. Your child will not be different – Remember walking through the isles in Target and you ran into that child, the one flopping around like a fish out of water in the middle of the isle because his mother refuses to buy him the $87.99 Lego set? Remember how you made a mental note as to how your child would never behave like that in public because you would teach them civility and manners and all things polite? Yeahhhh…your kid is gonna do the same.
3. Day care is sooooo expensive –At the low, low price of $307 a week your child will be offered the finest bottles, the cushiest cribs, and the cleanliest of diapers, all for the low, low price of missing their first smiles, giggles, and steps.
4. The Terrible Twos start at 1 – There is this little tiny switch that goes off in an infant’s mind when they realize “Hey, if I scream really loudly, Mommy will parade a variety of options to calm me down. Hmmmm… it seems as if the longer I scream the more options I have. What do I want today? A bottle, Mommy making silly faces, my crinkly butterfly, an extra long snuggle, it’s all so hard to choose.”
5. The Terrible Twos aren’t over at 2 years and 364 days – I’m not sure how long they last, my daughter is only 2 ½, but it doesn’t look as if they are ending any time soon. I'll get back to you on this one
6. Children’s toys are very loud – Apparently all toy manufactures are under the impression that children are VERY HARD OF HEARING AND MUST BE YELLED TO IN ORDER GRAB AND SUSSTATIN THEIR ATTENTION.
7. The town of Mommyville – The town where everyone has that half sympathetic smile and nod when your child becomes the one screaming on the floor in the middle of Target, where we exchange secret recipes for diaper cream yet still eye up each others mothering skills and decide to hate the mom with the three kids who still makes it to the gym twice a week and has graduated from the track suit and ponytail.
8. Band-Aids can heal anything – It doesn’t matter if there is not blood, if there is a Ban-Aid on it, it instantly feels better.
9. Love doesn’t stop growing – As each day passes you don’t think that there is any possible way that you can love your children any more than you do at this present moment, tomorrow you will wake up and find that you love than more than you did the day before.
10. Your husband – I knew my husband for 15 years before we had children but I don’t think I ever really knew him until we had our daughters. I have seen him in tears and terrified when we were told our daughter would be born 8 weeks early. I have seen him pick that same daughter up with so much love and compassion when I was ready to sell her to the circus after a 3 hour crying fit. I have seen his eyes light up after he taught our daughter to drive a remote control car. And I have seen his excitement when he found out we were having another girl and then hear him say it was what he hoped for. Without our children I don’t think I would ever have known my husband on the level that I do now. He is a wonderful man and terrific father and I can’t imagine my life without him.


  1. I loved your list. There were a few things that I didn't think of. You are so right regarding how loud toys are. The really loud ones don't even seem to have a volume control.

    I loved some of the points you brought up about the hubby. I can remember feeling like a bad mom when colic reared it's ugly head. I was pretty much over being a at that point but he was as calm as can be.

    Tickled Pink Twice
    Sew, What's Next?

  2. Kay - Your post was spot on too! They need a new version of "What To Expect When You're Expecting"

  3. These are great! And super funny :) I have a 2 1/2 year old too and I am also wondering when the terrible twos will end :)

    p.s. I came across you blog on Moms like me :)

  4. Great list!

    I found your blog on and wanted to let you know that I think it's great. I have a Beautiful Blogger Award for you over on my site!